April 18, 2010

Sania's Swayamvar (सानिया का स्वयं‍वर)

This week the tennis star and the poster girl of many Indians decided to get married. Yet, compared to the fake marriages one is being bombarded on reality shows, her marriage or should I say Swayamvara (स्वयं‍वर) was more entertaining than all soap operas put together. In fact, her marriage was more controversial than her short skirts and the fatwas that tried to lengthen them. More-soever, the time she managed to stay in the limelight was definitely much more longer than the time she currently spends on the tennis court.

What worries me most is that this is a celebrity marriage, whose average length can be computed before a complete scan of the page three of any newspaper. And speaking of loyalty this marriage has its foundation in dis-loyalty as both the bride and the groom were respectively engaged and married to someone when they started seeing each other. In fact based on Shoaib's statements, he was seeing two girls; one supposedly fat and the other whom he called thin, beautiful, and the younger sister of the former; is he trying to say he was involved with two sisters...yuck! Based on these incomprehensible statements the funnier thoughts that came to my mind were based on Shoaib Maliks behavior. How stupid can a guy actually be if he thought his first wife was the elder sister of the bride he married over telephone. Then he backtracks and says he is divorcing her because she was fat. Now, couldn't he just fly to India or have the marriage held in a neutral venue like the US or UK; but no he wanted to set an example of being desperate by marrying a supposedly hot girl over phone (Didn't he hear of Skye, it free you dumb ***). Based on all these desperate behaviors of both the bride and the groom, it will take divine intervention to ensure a happy married life for the couple. However, for the sake of peace between them and the countries I have to wish them a happy married life.

Now coming back to Shoaib and the Siddiqui family; I cannot help speculate that all is not well in cricket. Siddiqui being an Indian and based in Saudi was able to get his chubby little girl move around easily in Dubai and according to Shoaib masquerade another girl as his daughter. He also hosted parties for the Pakistan team in India. All of this along with the Dubai connection has got to appear hazy to anyone who has his eyes open. This Dubai connection makes me really scared thanks to videos of Anu Malik and Kumar Sanu singing praises of Dawood; link between Miandad and Dawood; the statements of Hansie Cronje; and all dirty things about Sharjah as a venue for Indo-Pak matches thanks to our honorable MP Azhar and his accomplice Jadeja. Thanks to all these hazy deals, one cannot consider Shoaib to be as Pak (pure and holy) as his chocolaty looks. In fact I find it difficult to believe his innocence given the amount of money, speculated to be Rs 15 crores, he gave of to break his past marriage.

Given all these complexities, the head of PCB would be a fool to have, either a stupid guy who marries of a phone or a potential match fixer given the money exchanging hands, in a team supposed to represent a country; but then the PCB has turned a blind eye to the Miandad controversies. Also I am really scarred as the couple are extremely media savvy. God forbid, but if anything goes wrong in this marriage, then there is a high likelyhood that both of them, and all their stupid fans and the media, will blow the their personal issues out of proportion to create tension between the countries. In fact I would like to stop here rather than increase the incoherence of this post. Since Shoaib likes technology in the crude form, I would like to send a telegram code 25 and 17 for the couple. And for the sake of peace I am hoping to send code 30 in the following years to come.[Here are the telegram codes: Best wishes on your wedding anniversary - 30, May Heaven’s choicest blessings be showered on the young couple - 25, Wish you a happy and prosperous wedded life - 17].

1 comment:

Bambi said...

Good one :-)